Lessons in Breakthrough Negotiation

 William Ury, Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way from Confrontation to Cooperation. New York: Bantam Books, 1993.

Summary:

Negotiation, whether informal or formal, can be tough. There are primarily five real world barriers to cooperation:

· Your own reaction to attack and attempts at exploitation.

· The other side’s anger, hostility, fear and distrust.

· The other side’s rigid adherence to their position.

· The other side’s unwillingness to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement.

· The other side’s determination to win as a demonstration of power.

The strategy to break through these barriers are these five steps:

· Go to the Balcony.

· Step to their side.

· Reframe.

· Build them a golden bridge.

· Use power to educate.

Preparation for a negotiating situation is highly urged, and concentrates on thinking through the four major points from the previous book, Getting to Yes, in regard to oneself and the other parties involved in the negotiation.

GO TO THE BALCONY.

The natural reaction to aggressive, devious and stubborn behavior and attempts at exploitation are to strike back, to give in, or to break off relations. This step is the suggested alternative, and is a metaphor for distancing oneself from one’s natural impulses and emotions – detaching oneself from a reaction. The key is to name and recognize the stonewall, the attack, and the tricks, and then buy time to think. This can be done by a pause and silence, review what has transpired so far in the decision making process, or to take a time-out, even a brief one. This will avoid a possibly wrong and hasty decision under pressure.

STEP TO THEIR SIDE

Negative emotions often are behind inflexible positions. Disarming these calls for doing the unexpected, to step to their side. The goal is to create a favorable climate for negotiation. This means:

· Listening to understand – to hear out the other side with patience and discipline – and then paraphrase what they are saying back to them and ask for corrections.

· Acknowledge – but do not necessarily agree with – their point. Recognize their feelings, offer an apology if they feel that they have been wronged and still demonstrate strength and confidence.

· Agree wherever you can. This does not mean conceding anything, but rather returning the focus to whatever common ground can be found.

· Acknowledge the person wherever possible. Act in contradiction to any negative perception, stereotype or caricature of you, and acknowledge whatever genuine authority and competence that they do have, and strive to build a working relationship with that person.

· Express your own views without provocation. State your own feelings in terms of the way that you feel, and continue to stand up for yourself. Acknowledge your differences with optimism rather than antagonism.

REFRAME.

Reframe a tough situation so that it can be directed into a mutual problem solving session. Ask the problem solving questions to discover underlying interests (“Why?” and “Why not?”, to brainstorm on possible solutions (“What if?”), to elicit advice (“What would you do in my situation?”), and to discuss standards of fairness (“What makes that fair?”). Likewise, there are specific tactics to reframe stonewalls, attacks, and tricks, and to negotiate about the negotiation itself. The turning point then comes when the tough negotiation becomes mutual problem solving.

BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE.

The four biggest reasons for rejecting a proposal are:

· It was not the idea of the other side.

· It does not meet some basic interests of the other side.

· It would mean that the other side would lose face.

· It seems too much to agree to in too short a time.

Instead of applying pressure, the metaphor is to build the other side a golden bridge to agreement – to draw them in the direction that you want them to come. This gets back to starting from where they are. The basic method again is to ask questions. Ask for their ideas and for constructive criticism of your own, and offer choices and alternatives. If there is still resistance, the advice is to probe for overlooked, often intangible, interests and needs which still have not been met. Additional tactics are suggested against face saving resistance, and helping the other side to frame the agreement in a positive light and to implement the agreement in an easy fashion.

USE POWER TO EDUCATE.

The striking metaphor here is: “Use power to bring them to their senses, not to their knees.” The idea is to bring the other side to see that the cost of no agreement is greater than a mutually beneficial agreement. The idea is not to use power to force or punish, but to bring the other side to continuing to solve the problem together. Then the goal becomes forging a firm and lasting agreement that can be implemented effectively and which gives mutual satisfaction, not victory. A number of ways to do this are elucidated.

Finally, the goal is repeated as not to “ . . . win over them, but to win them over.” This is the final strategy of breakthrough negotiation: to turn an adversary into a partner.

Applying the Lessons to Working in IT:

Many times, people both inside IT and outside IT can be at times notoriously difficult to work with, especially where there are circumstances which require joint efforts. These lessons can help to reduce adversarial conditions and improve cooperation with other areas. The need is still to turn real and potential adversaries into actual partners. The potential adversary can be an internal rival, an irate customer, or an exploitative colleague.

GO TO THE BALCONY

· Emotional outbursts can come from others. Seek to be the calmest person in the room if this happens.

· Base your reaction not on the volatile and possibly provocative actions of others but take the time to weigh your reaction.

STEP TO THEIR SIDE.

· The unexpected reaction of understanding and treating the other person with respect can also be the most powerful.

· Understanding the other person does not invalidate one’s own ideas and interests, but provides the way to build the common ground necessary to build a mutually advantageous, effective and workable solution.

REFRAME.

· A creative and artful act of reframing the negative responses of the other involved parties can be an effective turnaround of an antagonistic situation. Look for the unexplored aspects of the situation.

BUILD THEM A GOLDEN BRIDGE.

· No decision in a corporate environment is ultimately a battle of wills between individuals, since it will have consequences for the future stability, growth and prosperity of the business as a whole. Therefore don’t look for a one sided victory, to ‘beat’ the other person, but rather provide an honorable solution and cooperative working relationship for the future. Each decision, and how the decision is arrived at, has profound consequences for the future morale and cooperation within the organization.

USE POWER TO EDUCATE.

· In IT, power is not necessarily the possession of managerial authority; it can be the possession of technical knowledge and expertise (such as support or programming training) or access to or control over technical resources (such as being a LAN or database administrator). These kinds of power can sometimes be used to try to humiliate or ‘win’ over other people. These kinds of power can also be used to educate others to bring them to a mutually advantageous solution. The people who do the latter are those who gain long term respect and responsibility in an organization.